Blogging is like writing in a dairy that the whole world can read. You want to share your thoughts and make it interesting at the same time. I don't know how interesting this post will be, but I need to write in my "diary" about how I have been feeling, just so I can get it out there and move on. I haven't posted anything in my blog because these last couple of months threw me over the edge! Let me explain.
The last 4 years have been a whooper of a roller coaster ride for me. First, my husband, well, he got sick. Because of his illness my whole life changed. I lost my home of 15 years. I lost my furniture, my beautiful yard, my wonderful hot tub, my new sewing studio, my way of life, and the man I had loved for 30 years became a stranger to me. But I am a survivor and I stuck it out and worked to save my husband, who was also my best friend, and I thought I had it all under control, then death decided to start popping my bubbles! First my ex-husband died, we were friends, (in fact he was best man at my wedding to my current husband!) good friends! Not long after my girl friends son died. He died way too young and although my friend is still grieving, she had to step up and start raising her 2 year old grand daughter. Then my husbands brother died, this was hard on the whole family but especially on my husband who was trying hard to recover from his own troubles. Then my sister in law passed. It was a tough year but we made it thru, then his dad died, his "go to" guy was gone. Dad dying left a huge hole in everyones life but none more then his moms', who passed 8 months later! Then just days after, our nephew died in a car accident. It was like getting slammed up against a brick wall! So much sadness so many lives cut short. No answers as to why. No way to make it right. No relief from the awful pain of it all.
I looked around and the world hadn't skipped a beat! People were still going about their lives like nothing had happened! They were still going to work. They were still falling in love, getting married, having babies, taking vacations, throwing parties and having fun. But my world was full of sadness. My world had changed. I didn't know if it would ever be the same. Of course it wouldn't. It never would be the same, but life went on for the living and life went on for me.
I landed on my feet and here I am, writing in my blog, talking on Facebook, joining sewing groups, and carving out a new space for myself and my husband. Life is different and I am different, and this may be a good thing. Life should be about change and growth.
Great things have been happening this month. My quilts have been featured on My Quilt Place for two months in a row! Ellen Anne Eddy wrote a blog about my art work. I actually got a personal letter from the president of the AQS, inviting me to enter one of my quilts in the next show. I finally feel like all my effert is being noticed and that always makes an artist feel good and I need some "feel good" feelings! So I am on to the next phase of my life, what ever that might be. Smile on my face, best friend by my side, and a song in my heart. Bring it on world, just try to be kinder to me! After all, enough is enough!!!